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LIES. >:C

Something similar:

"The internet is for porn" - Trekkie Monster

"Brain or brain not. There is no Spoon." - Sarah Connor in Indiana Jones: Fire Walk With Me.

A double and serious one:
"Never buy generic/store brand dandruff shampoo. It doesn't work." - Me... right now.

Never try to convince others of their own stupidity. That's why they're stupid.
-Me

"It is a wise smurf who smurfs before smurfing a smurf" - Papa Smurf

Truer words have never been spoken.

Some see the glass as half empty, others see it as half full. I'm just wondering, who the hell's been drinking my beer?

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke

"Are you going to fight on your feet or live on your knees!" Dillion from the movie ALIEN 3

"I like to keep this handy for close encounters." Cpl Hicks from the movie ALIENS.

Today, my little brother was bugging me to do a tough level on a videogame for him, and I constantly refused, saying that he would never beat even tougher levels if he couldn't now. Then I thought up a quote:

Your skill as a gamer depends on whether or not you had an older brother.

So true. Many years ago I sucked at Star Wars Bounty Hunter (rental). Years later I bought it and I got through the whole thing like a badass.

Double post: Prepare for a huge wave of wisdom from South Park with the exception of one.

You can't win all the time and if you don't win, you certainly can't hold it against the person who did, because that's the only way you ever really lose." - Wendy Testaburger

"I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids." - Kye Broflovski

"Family isn't about whose blood you have, it's about who you care about." - Kyle Broflovski

"Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who we love, it would be much simpler, but much less magical." - Mr. Twig

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"It's fine to have your own beliefs and your own traditions, but as soon as you start excluing peope from your ways, only because of their race, you become a separatist and being a separatist sucks ass." - Kyle Broflovski

“You’ve learned that you can’t rewrite history. You see, history is forever, and everything happens for a reason.” – Kyle Broflovski

“Swearing can be fun, but doing it all the time causes a lot of problems.” - Kyle Broflovski

“We don’t have to believe every word of the Bible. They’re just stories to help us live by. We shouldn’t toss away the lessons of the Bible just because some assh*les in Italy screwed it up.” - Randy Marsh

“You know who was right all along? The Mongolians. They knew that you just can’t wall yourself off from the outside world. Putting walls up never helps anything. Tearing them down brings us together.” - Randy Marsh

“Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn’t mean you have to approve of it! If you had to like it, it’d be called the Museum of Acceptance! ‘Tolerate’ means you’re just putting up with it!” – Mr. Garrison

“The best way to try to motivate somebody is by being direct with them, to be honest with them.” – Stan Marsh

“This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers the word has ever seen and they knew one thing: that a truly great country can go to war, and at the same time, act like it doesn’t want to. You people who are for the war, you need the protestors because they make the country look like it’s made of sane, caring individuals. And you people who are anti-war, you nee these flag wavers, because if our whole country was made up of nothing but soft pussy protestors, we’d get taken down in a second. That’s why the Founding Fathers decided we should have both. It’s called ‘having your cake and eating it too.’” – Eric Cartman

“You just hate smoking, so use all your money and power to force others to think like you and that’s called fascism, you tubby assh*le!” – Kyle Broflovski

“I’d rather be a cryin’ little pussy than a homosexual Goth kid.” Butters

"People can get hurt. That’s how terrorism works. But if you give in to that, you’re allowing terrorism to work.” – Kyle Broflovski

“I know your first love seems like the only love but trust me it’s not. You have so much life ahead of you.” Kyle Broflovski

Why are we here? Does it matter? We're here.

More bad has happened in my life than good. There is only one person who has changed my outlook on life. She made me realize that A, I am not the only one that bad things happen to; and B, don't let the little things get me down. She died within a year I was born, and I never met her...

"It's Always Something" - Gilda Radner

"Low self esteem leads to jealousy, jealousy leads to frustration, and frustration leads to stupid bitches." - moi

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.