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I sprayed a teacher with silly spray thinking it was someone else. yelled "DIE oppressor!" a running gag with my friends. got into so much sh*t after it.

I think my most memorable fail occurred about three years ago. I was young and dumb, younger and dumber at the very least, and drunk. My friends and I had just stepped out of a cab, and were walking onto the sidewalk from the curb of the street.

I put one foot onto the curb, and then went to put my other foot past the curb and onto the sidewalk. I somehow managed to completely miss, and my foot landed in between a parked car's tire, and the curb (it was one of those curbs that don't have a slope). My foot wasn't stuck, but it did take some effort to get it out - which caused me to lose balance, and begin stumbling forward with a surprising amount of speed. I ended up running face first into a tree, scratched my face up, and split my lip open. What a glorious night.

I was at the river with three of my friends and their five dogs. We let the dogs out and they immediately ran into the river, having a blast!

My friend then looked towards us, dog's swimming in the water, and says to us: "You know what we forgot?...to bring water for the dogs..."

FACEPALM

so i was walking with my friend uptown then downtown to find a place to eat and we walked for 10-15 blocks until my friend got tired of walking and yelled 'let's take the fu*king train'...'we already passed it 3 times...'

Visited the sewage plant today. One of the only 2 guys who puked...into my backpack...onto my essay plan ._.

I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't be laughing, but I just can't help it.
You couldn't have puked in the sewage?

Today at work I was cleaning beer tanks on the outside with a foamy agent (mostly sodium hypochlorite, aka bleach) using a foam machine. I almost used all of the agent and the hose couldn't suck it out anymore, so I just poured it on a sponge to clean the rest. In about 30 seconds it started to burn my hands. That sh*t is concentrated! I had no idea it would burn so much. My hands have been in all sort of chemicals, but I never felt something burn so much so quickly. Even hydrochloric acid wasn't as bad.
Anyways, I washed my hands, but the stuff is oily and wouldn't come off. I had to wash my hands three times, and I could still smell the chlorine.
I know, I should have worn rubber gloves, but they make my hands sweaty and smell nasty.

I plugged in my laptop and tripped on the cord literally seconds later. So coordinated here.

Woupse. I suppose hand cleaner would have been in order in that case. (works for car grease after all)

I (finally) had lunch with a girl who moved from my department to another. We worked together for nearly half a year. There was some conversating. Alot of it about work. Mostly there were (long) awkward pauses. I'm such a tard.

We finished a bit early at work today (finally!), so I had plenty of time to get to the train station, and of course, I walked really slowly and I stopped on the way to buy a chocolate bar. When I got to the station the train had already arrived and I had to run to catch it. As I was running my phone fell from my pocket and I accidentally kicked it and send it flying and skidding across the station. Yeah, you guessed it, I was listening to music at the time. Earphones got unplugged and the music switched to speaker, and I was yelling and cursing while running away from the train now to catch the phone.
Luckily I made it to the train on time.

The last time I did that, I was walking to get breakfast and listening to music on my ipod, and running across an intersection. I felt something hit my shoe, but it was so early in the morning that the sun was still down and I didn't see (or hear) anything. About a mile away I realized I had lost it, and ran back to the intersection (now a little lighter as the sun had started to rise) to find it had indeed been run over. I lost the best phong I've ever had that day.

Left my ID in a room that needs ID to get in. oops.
more fail on their part for designing the room to need ID to get in but not to get out of ._.

had my first attempt at making meringue cookies and decided to make them look like ghosts for halloween.

when they finished baking, they had some weird spacing.

friend of mine who was over at the time looked at them and told me "those don't look like ghosts. they look like the mummy had issues getting his bandages off."

and to add insult to injury, i've been informed they have the consistency of styrofoam.

Yesterday I left my glasses at work. I was in a hurry to catch the train and left them in the locker room. By the time I realised it, it was too late.
I felt naked the rest of the day.


Probably, but we don't have it in brewery. There's no need for it (usually). I though of pouring some diluted acid on my hands to neutralise highly basic bleach, but that would release elemental chlorine. That actually happened once. My coworker accidentally mixed bleach with lactic acid. That was bad, but not as nearly as when my boss spilled some peracetic acid. Now that burns. Chemical storage was inaccessible that day.

Wow, you guys should probably stop drinking on the job.

That is not an option.