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Dear Board Moderator,
Sorry if I harassed you with that last birthday present letter for Butters. If it sounds like another one of my stupid questions, it's not. I want to tell you a Yom Kippur story. This story has a South Park twist. My mother keeps asking me the same stupid questions, mostly when she's behind the wheel with me. She keeps saying "do I turn left at this street or that street"? I don't want to hear that anymore. During Yom Kippur the other day, I went with my family to synagogue, I fasted from September 25 to the 26. I was praying with my family and i fasted with them. You know how I think nowadays? To love one another is to see the face of God. This board will not be forgiving anymore. You know I wouldn't write questions that lead to some kind of holy war. You know that. Are my sins cleansed? Yes they are. In synagogue, I was asking myself, "how can I write better questions?" Randy was on Wheel of Fortune, in that episode where he said "n*ggers" instead of "naggers". That's a different story. It's time to think like Rene Descartes. I'm not who you think I am Mr. Board Moderator. I'm fearing for my safety on the Internet. So I asked God in synagogue, well, not really; I asked myself, "how can I safely send questions on the Internet?". Because if I get banned, no one can save me; I can only save myself. After a full day of fasting and praying, and singing with the cantor, I was getting tired. Descartes said cogito ergo sum -- I think therefore I am. Are my stupid questions gone? Yes, very much so. I was thinking of Kyle in my synagogue. He's always watching down on me. There, I hope you liked my story, mister board moderator.

Damn, I thought you were stupid BEFORE. But THIS...

As the board moderator says, "I'm looking at you, Kenny fans". I was looking at myself in the mirror and singing "Some Nights". Stupid can't be my personality. What would happen if we didn't have Descartes? We would be stupider and stupider. I've learned my lesson. There's this preconceived notion that Yom Kippur is a sad day, because we spend time fasting in synagogue and thinking about our sins, but Yom Kippur is supposed to be a happy day. It ends the Jewish new year. I'll leave you alone. I can't ask too many questions, otherwise I'll get in trouble again. The Jewish new year starts with Rosh Hashanah, and it ends with Yom Kippur. I think the fasting did the trick, also listening to the rabbi did the trick. I treat you just like i treat God. That shouldn't get me banned for two or three months. It's just the board rules. It's time to get out of this Kenny position. Fasting made me happier. I hate it when I keep getting grounded like Butters. When is Craig's birthday? When is Clyde's birthday. Enough already.

My, such formal posts. I'm blushing. :3

May you have a good Yom Kippur, and Happy New Year. That goes for the other Jews on this board, too.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid peo- GODDAMNIT!

I always rely on you. You know that. I don't want to be a nobody anymore. It's just like that old Sesame Street song, "one of these things is not like the others".

Thank you

May the year 5773 be a healthy and happy one

@ skurtz: L'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatem

For the record, I don't think your posts are that stupid..At least they aren't the same boring political/religion bashing crap that makes a lot of the old posters not want to post here much.

My granny once told me the walls have ears, and she's right. You never know whay question to submit. I'm like don't submit that question. Curiosity killed the cat.

Well, everyone thinks differently..At the other board I post at, I see a lot of different kinds of questions posted by new members..Also, some people are new to message boards and do not realize they do not work like Facebook. Sometimes the question you want to know about was already answered years ago. But, people who are just starting using message boards do not always know that..Nothing to be a dick about.