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Stranger: i have a nice beard, do you?
You: Mine is the best in the land, thank you
Stranger: Really? i beg to differ
You: Orly?
Stranger: YES RLY!#
You: Well sir, I challenge you to a beard off!
Stranger: AHA! challenge accepted!
You: *Beard grows a fist and punches your face*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: hey
You: ASS RAEPZORZOZOZOZOZOOZOZ
Stranger: ........................................... ..................................,-~~'''''''~~––,,_
.................................................. ..................................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
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.................................................. .............................'|::::: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. .............................|::::: : :-~~––-: : : ––––-: |
.................................................. ............................(_''~-': : : : : : : : :
.................................................. .............................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~––-': : : :,'––NEVER GONNA
.................................................. .................................|,: : : : : :-~~––: : :––––-GIVE YOU UP!
.................................................. ............................,-''\\': :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ......................__,-';;;;;\\:''-,: : : :'~––-~''/|
.................................................. .............__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;\\: : : :____/: :',__
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........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
......................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|::::'''~––~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~––,
......................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|:::::::::::::;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~––,
...................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~––,,-~––-,,___,-~~'''__''~-
..................,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|::::::::::::::;;;;;;|.................. ...''-,\\_''-,''-,''~
................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|::::::::::::::;;;;;|................ .............._
You: DAMNIT!
Stranger: sorry man u loose
You: You sir, have won
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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this one is stupid...

Stranger: jey
Stranger: *hey
Stranger: asl?
You: Watch me L, I'll take a potato chip....
You: AND EAT IT!
Stranger: ok the
Stranger: loool
Stranger: *then
You: SRS UNICORNS ARE NOT AMUSED BY YOUR NASTY PRISMS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: heyy
You: Remember this son....
Stranger: im a girl....
You: Well, son, you just sit down and listen to the story I'm gonna tell you...
Stranger: say daughter right now or i will punch your balls so hard you will never have a son
You: How can you punch me through the computer son?
Stranger: oh
Stranger: i have my ways agent lynch;)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: Howdy Ma'am
Stranger: fine!!
You: Mighty fine day we're havin'
You: don't you agree miss?
Stranger: i can see u
You: that's real interesting ma'am
Stranger: with msn
You: okay misss
Stranger: send me your msn
You: can ya see me tippin' my hat towards ya
You: my msn is fabiosings25@hotmail.com
Stranger: i invited u
You: okay then
You: talk to you there
Stranger: Mine is *Censored to conceal the person's information*
You: I'll be sure to accept it
You have disconnected.


Stranger: heyy
Stranger: asl?
You: >:(
You: You smell!
Stranger: Im irish
Stranger: from ireland
You: You Smell like Liquor then
Stranger: wanna start me?
Stranger: Bet you smell like the scum between the queen of englands toes
You: What exactly is scum?
You: Please explain, the lot of ya
Stranger: scum...e.g...you lol
You: you sir are a spastic
Stranger: Lol says the one that says...."you sir are a spastic" lol
You: and probably a wee bit drunk from the consumption
Stranger: Nah not really
You: I chortle at all yer remarks ye be makin
Stranger: pog mo thoin
Stranger: lol
You: D;
You: D:
Stranger: Ya know what that means?
You: ....
You: I LIKE POTATOS!
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hii
You: Why you comin' home
At Five in The Mon'
You: Somethin's goin' on
You: Can I smell your dick?
Stranger: *oh Lord, another weirdo*
You:
You: Welcome to the internet
You: FROG BONER
Stranger: i am so tired i cannot even disconnect
You: Lol
Stranger: so, keep going..
You: I like to molest squirrels
Stranger: damn! lucky squirrels
You: OHOHOHOHO
You: ;D
Stranger: lol got anything else?
You: Hmm........
Stranger: nah, leave it
You: sometimes I like to imagine little Asian gnomes massaging my feet
Stranger: that makes you cum, doesnt it?
You: nah
You: I'm a unicorn
You: we don't have jizzing abilities
Stranger: idk, even unicorns cum
You: No, they don't
Stranger: i saw one cumming when i showed it a porno
You: Unicorns are pure beings
You: Besides, it was probably your mom dressed as one
Stranger: no if i remember correctly..it was YOUR mom
You: it was OUR mom
You: I finally found you, my brother
Stranger: ohk, bro..i am tired..gtg..bbye
Your conversational partner has disconnected
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Stranger: hey
You: Hewro
Stranger: ...
You:
Stranger: haha
You: So.....what's the weirdest thing you've ever done with a paperweight?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl
You: Hello
You: Do you like waffles?
Stranger: asl
You: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Stranger: hi mf?
You: no you are
Stranger: male
You: yes
Stranger: you ? f?
You: guess...
You: PLASTIC VASE ORGASM
You: Sorry, I have tourettes
Stranger: tourettes ?
You: yes
You: I can't control what I say or ty......FUCK ASS MOTHER DUCK
Stranger: what gender
You: why does that matter?
you tryin' to get in my pants or something?
Stranger: by
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

...I think he was....

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Stranger: hii m / 14 / england u ??? ★
You: Hi, My name's Becca
You: I collect reptiles
Stranger: cool
You: and illegal immigrants
Stranger: lol
You: I'm serious
You: I have like 5 Phillipinos living with me
Stranger: i bet ur a guy messin about lolo
You: No, I'm not
You:
You: I also knit dildos
You: and sell them on the black market
You: want one?
You have disconnected.
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Stranger: male here.
You:No,no
You:the Q is
You: do i care?
You: and the A is
You: i don't
You: so f*ck you
You: and your tiny dick
You have disconnected.

Stranger: Hi''
You: I'm John Lennon nigga!
You: If you don't believe me, you can suck...my..dick!
You have disconnected.

Stranger: 18 m us
You: Is your cock large
Stranger: f*cking enormous
You: I bet its tiny
You: cause your ego's huge so your cock must be tiny
Stranger: well
Stranger: it's only cause my pubes are veddy long
Stranger: that it looks tiny
You: oh ok...that makes sense
Stranger: i will bite your pussy to the point of profuse bleeding
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


------------------------

Stranger: asshat
You: PR0NNIGGA
Stranger: NIGGA
Stranger: PLEASE
Stranger: HI
Stranger: MOM
You: HI SON
You: TIME FOR YOUR DAILY TITJOB
Stranger: NAHHH
Stranger: I DUN WANT A TIT JON
Stranger: *JOB
Stranger: FFF
You: BUT YOU MUST
Stranger: WHY
Stranger: JUST BECAUSE MY TITS ARE SMALL
You: YOUR MANTITS ARE RATHER LARGE
Stranger: IMMA WOMAN
Stranger: -betchslaps-
You: XCUSE ME
You: THATS NO WAY TO TALK TO YOUR MOM
Stranger: IMM SORRY MOMMY
You: DONT MAKE ME GO RAPTOR JESUS ON YOU
Stranger: DONT BEAT ME AGAIN
Stranger: D:
You: NEXT TIME I'LL BEAT YOU WITH A DILDO
Stranger: AGAIN?
You: THIS TIME IT'LL BE PURPLE
Stranger: Yay!
Stranger: I LIKE THE COLOR PURPLE
Stranger: NEXT TIME HAVE IT BE GREEN
You: GREEN ONE SMELLS LIEK DONKEY BONER
Stranger: OH sh*t
Stranger: YOURE RIGHT
Stranger: DO YOU WANT A TACO?
You: NAH
You: TACOS MAKE ME JIZZ
Stranger: THATS SEXY
You: WHEN I PUT MY DICK IN THE HARD SHELL
You: AND JERK OF WITH IT
Stranger: YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT ASSHAT
Stranger: YOURE SUPPOSED TO EAT THE TACO
You: AND THEN MY JIZZ TASTES LIKE HOT SAUCE
You: AND I FEED IT TO YOU
Stranger: I WANNA TAKE YER JIZZ
You: OH.
You: YEAH
Stranger: *TASTE
Stranger: NOT TAKE
You: TAKE OT
You: LOL YOU HAVE
You: EVERYNITE
Stranger: OH RITE
Stranger: NAO I REMEBER
Stranger: LOL USUALLY IM DRUNK AT THAT TIME
You: YEAH THATS CAUSE I PUT ROOFIES IN IT
Stranger: OOO
You: I PISS IN THE BEER BOTTLE ADN FEED IT TO YOU
Stranger: EWW
Stranger: YOU TARD
Stranger: WAIT
You: IZ NOT
Stranger: BEER TASTES BAD ANYWAY
Stranger: D:
You: MY PISS TASTES LIKE GINSENG
Stranger: IT SURE DOEZ
Stranger: BOOBs
You: TITS
Stranger: BONER
You: I HAEV 1 RITE NAO
Stranger: THATS HOT
Stranger: Okay anyway, Asl?
You: 16 F ASSCRACKISTAN
You: you?
Stranger: Damn
Stranger: Im 14 f usa
Stranger: How dare you also be a woman
You: you're not allowed to access the internet at 14
Stranger: Oh sh*t
You: How dare you jizz in my taco?!
Stranger: I WAS HORNY
Stranger: AND DRUNK
Stranger: GO IN THE KITCHEN AND MAEK ME A SAMMICH
You: WITH FISH STICKS?
Stranger: HELL NO
Stranger: GET ME A HAM SAMMICH
Stranger: NAO
You: NO FISH STICKS
You: SOUNDS LIKE FISH DICKS LOLO
Stranger: SOOTH PERK?
You: HELL YES
Stranger: BIITTCCH
Stranger: PLEASE
You: WTF CHU TALKIN BOUT
Stranger: IM NOT SURE
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICh-sETBPCk

S'MAH JAYUM
Stranger: http://lieclopedia.yolasite.com/resourc ... es-003.jpg
Stranger: THAT IS ME
Stranger: AM I HOT?!!?!
You: OH YEAH
Stranger: DOES IT GIVE YOO A BONER?!
'
You: IT MAKES MY DICK ENORRRRRRRRRRRMUZ
Stranger: DAYUUMMNN
You: THIS IS ME
You: http://johngushue.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8 ... 970c-800wi
Stranger: THATS MAKES ME WET
Stranger: SO HOT
You: THAT'S RIGHT. YOU TAKE IT
Stranger: MMMHHMM YEESSS
You: MICHAEL JACKSON TOUCHED ME ONCE
You: ....I LIKED IT
Stranger: LUCKY
Stranger: I WISHED HE WOULD TOUCH ME
Stranger: BUT SADLY IM A GIRL
Stranger: oh and he's dead
You: orite
You: poor guy
Stranger: LOLOLOL
Stranger: Yeah...
You: IS DER SUMFIN FUNEE?
Stranger: YEAH
Stranger: YER FACE
Stranger: -is shot-
You: DO YOU LIKE JOKES?
Stranger: YEAH
You: KAY
You: KNOCK KNOCK
Stranger: WHOS THAR
You: DISCO
Stranger: DISCO WHO
You: DISCO-NECTED
You have disconnected.

I just had my first nice conversation on Omegle.With a queer guy.
I'm lovin' it~

Also who knew that by pretending to be black I'd actually do a good deed?


Stranger: i bet n*ggers like chicken
You: hey
You: i'm black
You: you motherf**** * c*nt
Stranger: oh sh*t
Stranger: sorry
You: I'M GONNA PUT A FOOT IN YOUR F***** THROAT
Stranger: im black too and im doing a racist test
You: SEE HOW YOU LIKE TEH CHICKEN
Stranger: to see how many ppl agree
You: right
You: you piece of dispshit
Stranger: lol dont believe me
Stranger: you chimps are all the same
You: you said you were black
Stranger: i know
Stranger: lol
You: are you saying you are a chimp?
Stranger: racism is a joke
Stranger: yeah
You: you are a joke.
Stranger: i dont care if someone calls me chimp
Stranger: racism is a joke
You: You make all blacks the n*ggers they are today
Stranger: lol
You: that's why they make fun of us
You: because "it's a joke"
Stranger: no matter how educated we are were still n*gger to them
Stranger: so theres no point
You: is a race,a entire group of people a joke to you,I ask?
You: we're all mother****** people.
Stranger: i know
Stranger: but f*cking inbred crackers dont care about that
You: Ok,first of all.Being a black person does not exclude you from spelling right
You: Spelling correct is for everyone
Stranger: haha
Stranger: so many of us speel liek dis
You: well for everyone with an IQ over 50
Stranger: makes us look f****** stupid
You: You make us look stupid,dude!
Stranger: i know
Stranger: i need to stop trolling
You: well stop it
You: you can enjoy a nice and pleasant conversation
Stranger: ill try to
You: without all that "racism"
Stranger: ok
You: byebye
Stranger: bye
Stranger: smart black person
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Derp People are nice

Stranger: herp derp
You: derp derp
You: derp derp?
You:
Stranger: yeah man.
You: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP
Stranger: we are herpin and derpin all the way.
Stranger: HERRRRRRRRRRRRP
You: I'M DERP FOR YOUR HERP
Stranger: DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
You: :d
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: you're awesome.
You: yea
Stranger: herp herp
You: i am ..
Stranger: yeah...
Stranger: you are.
Stranger: this is awkward
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: What's shakin' bacon?
Stranger: my ass
You:
You: Are you wearing space pants, because your ass is out of this world
Stranger: good one
Stranger: haha
You: thank you
You: I'll ice your cupcakes ALL NIGHT LONG
Stranger: once again good one
You: I have moar
Stranger: k go on
You: Hmmmmm
You: Well tickle my testes I can't think of anything...
Stranger: haha
You: Well toodles
You have disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: i see dead rainbows all the time.
Stranger: male or female?
You: it's a serious disease!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
________________________________________
Stranger: hi
You: i can smell your tits from here.
Stranger: what i am men?
You: then your dick smells funky.
You: did you jam up some rotten eggs up there? pee-yew man.
Stranger: what rubbish you are talking
You: don't be using that language with me, mister.
Stranger: mother f*cker
You: GO BACK INSIDE YOUR CLOSET.
Stranger: nincompoooooooooooo
You: that is it! i just ripped your balls off. *ripppppp
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Son, we need to talk
Stranger: O'rly?
You: Yarly
Stranger: About what?
You: Well...
You: I'm not comparing you to your brother but...
You: Your obsession with dead bodies is scarring me
You: Why don't you play more sports?
Stranger: I knew that'd be a problem.
You: Yes,
Stranger: You see, sports require work.
You: Yeah
Stranger: I hate work.
You: Well, being a necrophiliac requires work too son
Stranger: I suppose. Sports do pay better.
You: Yeah, and you get chicks that are actually alive
Stranger: Hmm. I've never thought about it like that before.
You: You see son
You: Now life can be normal, and I can carry on my heroin addiction without your mom bitchin' about you 24/7
You: It's a win/win
Stranger: Since you put it like that...
Stranger: I think I'll change my ways.
You: Good, good!
You: I have a question son
Stranger: Can I have a dead body every once in a while?
You: Well sure, but...
You: can I borrow your piss?
Stranger: Well, since you set me on the straight and narrow, I don't see why not.
Stranger: But you can have it, not borrow it.
You: Thank you son, wait...you haven't done pot in awhile have you?
Stranger: No, I haven't. It's clean.
You: Good, I can get in more trouble with that than heroin in the test
You: You have just earned Daddy's love
Stranger: Oh thank you ever so much.
You: Any hot chicks in your grade son?
Stranger: Many, many.
You: Good, good
You: I like em' young
Stranger: O'rly?
You: Ya'rly
Stranger: Well, something may be able to be arranged, I guess.
You: Thanks son
You: Now, can you kill your Mom for me?
Stranger: But dad...
You: I don't want to get dirty
Stranger: Does it have to end that way?
You: you want my love RIGHT? *pulls out gun*
Stranger: Yes.
You: Okay, you know what you have to do...
Stranger: But you have the gun.
You: TAKE IT!
Stranger: No!
You: Lol, I was just trollin' son
Stranger: Okay, I was kind of scared there for a minute.
You: You just have to bury the body
Stranger: But I don't have a shovel, or lime.
You: It's just my last request...before I shoot myself of course
You: *Points gun at head*
Stranger: No, I won't do it.
You: *Pulls trigger*
You: BAANG!
Stranger: Wow, that was loud.
You: Indeed
You: 3 cheers for dysfunctional families
Stranger: Yay! Yay! Yay!
You:
You have disconnected.

Stranger: horny? m/f?
You: I'm both.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi buddy
Stranger: HI M 18 INDIA
You: hahha. i am 2 and 6 inches tall.
You: really
You: my mom say to me
You: f*ck off little
You: moron
You: i am crying now
You: she is so evil
You:
Stranger: FUCKOFF motherf*cker
You: i am so sad.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Hhahahahahha. LoooL

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: yo wome?
You: women
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yeah
You: o man
You: really
You: ?
Stranger: yeah
You: old?
Stranger: 18
Stranger: you?
You: o man really?
Stranger: duhhh
Stranger: you?
Stranger: asl?
You: okay becouse i am 7 . My mom yealing at me and im so afraid, Can you help me?Im just kiding
You: xd
Stranger: hahaha really?
You: i am 23
Stranger: youre just 7?
Stranger: from?
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: from?
You: australia.
You: you
Stranger: philippines
Stranger: in the metro
You: cool
Stranger: i thought u were 7......
You: hahah. That will be funny
You: XD
Stranger: yeah...
Stranger: what time is it there?
You: i am not good at english
You: i dont know
Stranger: its alright...
You: my clock
Stranger: try to be simple
Stranger: use plain english
You: is in the liveing room
You: what?
Stranger: so, what are you doing?
You: licking my fingger?
You: you
Stranger: ew...why?!
You: my blood is all of my floor
You: never mind
You: you?!
Stranger: listening to Goodbye mixtape
Stranger: are highschool?
You: o man you are lesbian
You: 1000%
Stranger: no!!! i have boyfriend
Stranger: i only like hiphop sorta....
Stranger: coz im a dancer
You: What are you doing here then!?
Stranger: just chatting everybody who's worth it
You: o thanks a compliment! yuuuuhuuuuu!:DDDD
You: how are you?
Stranger: im doing good... can i ask a question?
Stranger: ?
You: Im not good I'm running out of blood
You: yes
You: what
You: ?
Stranger: what do you think of Filipino girls?
You: HMM. i don't know.. hot,preddy,smart. And other... why? You are lesbian?O man i know it. Or... Besexual. Yeees! You are besexual
You: right?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: I AM NOT OK?
Stranger: if so, if you think im one you'll regret it.
Stranger: im one of the prettiest Filipino you'll meet
You: ok,ok... But i am not trusting you. you are lesbian for me.... how are you dude?
You: lesbian
You: hahah
You: o man
You: i love
You: cartman
You: )
Stranger: i think you are gay?
Stranger: gays are like that?
You: yes
You: i am woman
You:
Stranger: i knew it!
You: hhaha
You: how?
Stranger: u are so disrespectful
Stranger: how rude... so gay...
You: what??? disrespectful???
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: and u arent worth it
Stranger: k bye
Stranger: bitch!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Hhahahahahhahahahahahhahah!!!!! The women is so weak, leam! hahha XD

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: yo wome?
You: women
Stranger: yes
Stranger: yeah
You: o man
You: really
You: ?
Stranger: yeah
You: old?
Stranger: 18
Stranger: you?
You: o man really?
Stranger: duhhh
Stranger: you?
Stranger: asl?
You: okay becouse i am 7 . My mom yealing at me and im so afraid, Can you help me?Im just kiding
You: xd
Stranger: hahaha really?
You: i am 23
Stranger: youre just 7?
Stranger: from?
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: from?
You: australia.
You: you
Stranger: philippines
Stranger: in the metro
You: cool
Stranger: i thought u were 7......
You: hahah. That will be funny
You: XD
Stranger: yeah...
Stranger: what time is it there?
You: i am not good at english
You: i dont know
Stranger: its alright...
You: my clock
Stranger: try to be simple
Stranger: use plain english
You: is in the liveing room
You: what?
Stranger: so, what are you doing?
You: licking my fingger?
You: you
Stranger: ew...why?!
You: my blood is all of my floor
You: never mind
You: you?!
Stranger: listening to Goodbye mixtape
Stranger: are highschool?
You: o man you are lesbian
You: 1000%
Stranger: no!!! i have boyfriend
Stranger: i only like hiphop sorta....
Stranger: coz im a dancer
You: What are you doing here then!?
Stranger: just chatting everybody who's worth it
You: o thanks a compliment! yuuuuhuuuuu!:DDDD
You: how are you?
Stranger: im doing good... can i ask a question?
Stranger: ?
You: Im not good I'm running out of blood
You: yes
You: what
You: ?
Stranger: what do you think of Filipino girls?
You: HMM. i don't know.. hot,preddy,smart. And other... why? You are lesbian?O man i know it. Or... Besexual. Yeees! You are besexual
You: right?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: I AM NOT OK?
Stranger: if so, if you think im one you'll regret it.
Stranger: im one of the prettiest Filipino you'll meet
You: ok,ok... But i am not trusting you. you are lesbian for me.... how are you dude?
You: lesbian
You: hahah
You: o man
You: i love
You: cartman
You: )
Stranger: i think you are gay?
Stranger: gays are like that?
You: yes
You: i am woman
You:
Stranger: i knew it!
You: hhaha
You: how?
Stranger: u are so disrespectful
Stranger: how rude... so gay...
You: what??? disrespectful???
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: and u arent worth it
Stranger: k bye
Stranger: bitch!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Hhahahahahhahahahahahhahah!!!!! The women is so weak, leam! hahha XD

Hahaha I just realized what this sounds like. I answered "both" to his 'm/f?' question. lmfoaoffoffa.
___________________________________________
You: i just had a poopy flavoured lolly pop.
Stranger: lmao
Stranger: nice
You: wanna smell my breath? *AHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: wow, smells like sh*t..
You: that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. *tear
Stranger: aww
Stranger: im so happy for you :')
You: will you marry me, stranger?
You: we'll have lots of poopy flavored kisses.
Stranger: aw, of course
You: SCORE.
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: wait wait wait..
Stranger: are you a guy or girl?
Stranger: lol
You: I'm a girl.
You: lolllll
You: didn't even see that coming.
Stranger: hahaha, i am too :L
You: Poo, we'll get married in secrecy.
Stranger: lmao
Stranger: for sureeee
You: see you at the wedding!
You have disconnected.
__________________________________________
Stranger: m/f
You: no?
Stranger: neither?
You: yeah
Stranger: oh
Stranger: u alien?
You: i'm from the planet jhfkjgdfg.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: me from mars
You: then why did you ask me if was m/f?
You: trying to trick me?
You: what a dirty trickster.
Stranger: yes
Stranger: that i am
You: ooooooooo
You: so busted.
Stranger: u like that
You: yes I do.
Stranger: u want to have sex with alien
You: sure, why not.
Stranger: u want wild alien sex with me
You: sure, why not.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: here is how we alien have sex
Stranger: female stands on head
You: from which planet? I don't want to be represented as a fool in front of my alien peers.
Stranger: in mars
Stranger: and male holds females feet in air
Stranger: and blows on them
You: feet are nasty.
Stranger: until female screams
Stranger: not for we aliens
You: suck on my big alien green toe!
Stranger: oh yeah baby
Stranger: id love to
You: and I'll shave your alien head, because that's what we do.
Stranger: oh sounds nice
You: oops, I think I just shaved off half your face.
Stranger: what!!!
Stranger: which half?
You: sahhhryyy.
You: the ugly half.
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: then we are okay
You: oh wait a tick...
You: I'm holding the beautiful half!
You: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: what!!!
You: you are screwed.
Stranger: u shaved off my whoel face?
You: and my alien dog just ate it.
Stranger: oh my god
Stranger: i am bleeding all over
Stranger: and ur dog is licking it
You: no worries, aren't you a doctor?
Stranger: and ooh it feels so good
You: no time to feel frisky with the dog!
Stranger: why?
You: i....don't....know!
You: you're getting inside my brain.
Stranger: time is limited
Stranger: me bleeding to death
Stranger: must sex with dog
You: my dog is going to fling his poop at you.
Stranger: ooh yeah
Stranger: id eat it
You: and you didn't even brush your teeth.
Stranger: what is brush teeth?
You: it's alien talk for " using a condom".
Stranger: me no speak that kind alien talk
Stranger: no condoms on mars
You: then we are on two different wavelengths, my good sir.
Stranger: uh-oh
Stranger: this whole conversation
You: is dead!
Stranger: we may be talking 2 different things!
You: i need to get some more alien ass.
You have disconnected.