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First Blood First Serve Chapter 6 PostTue Jan 21, 2014 10:43 am Offline
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Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:33 pm30
{Return from Commercial break}

{A cute little bunny rabbit hops through the woods while Spring song by Mendelssohn plays in the background. The bunny sniffs a flower while looking soooooooooo cute. Little does he notice the shadow in the tree above him until it's too late.}

{Conner picks up the rabbits remains with his spear and walks back to the mine tunnel. where Benjamin who is resting against the wall.}

Conner: "Wake up Ben!"

{Benjamin shuffles and wakes up.}

Benjamin: Your back early what's the news are they still searching for us?"

Conner: "They're gone for now I went out and got dinner while you were sleeping." {Conner holds up the spear with the skinned rabbit on it.}

{Cuts to the fire and pot where Benjamin and Conner are eating Rabbit stew.}

Benjamin: "I haven't had rabbit stew like this since we went hunting with Dad."

Conner: "Yeah those sure were good times weren't they."

Benjamin: "Sure were."

Conner: "So what's the plan for tomorrow."

Benjamin "It's starting to get dark so I guess we'll settle in here for the night and see what tomorrow brings."

Conner: "Hey Benjamin?"

Benjamin: "Yes?"

Conner: "I'm glad your still with me."

Benjamin: "So am I bro you don't have to worry about me abandoning you." {he puts his hand on Conner's shoulder and smiles at him, while we cut to the sun going down over the Rockies.}


{Meanwhile in Stan's bedroom his parents are installing a metallic shutter over his window and and sandbags around his room}

Stan: {Irritated} "Mom Dad is this really necessary?"

Sharon: "Now Sweetie this is for your own safety, no flattop trigger happy maniac is gonna lay a finger on my baby boy." {She kisses him on the forehead and puts him into bed. which she then surrounds with bulletproof bubble and barbed wire.}

Stan: "Dad! Say something!"

Randy: "Don't worry Stan we remembered to guard your sister."

{Cuts to Shelly's room where she's angrily pounding on her bubble.}

Shelly: "Thisss iss all your fault Ssstan when I break out of here I'm gonna kill you"

{Back to Stan's room.}

Randy: "And even your Grandpa has taken precautions."

{Cuts to Grandpa who's covered in a ballistic shell which prevents him from moving. He tries to move back and forth but tips over in the process and moans.}

Randy: "Goodnight Stan sleep tight." {He turns out the lights}

Sharon: "Don't let the psychopath's bite" {mutters to herself} "I've got such a nice boy such a precious little angel."

{As soon as they leave the room Stan springs into action or at least tries to but the protective bubble won't break}

Stan: "Ah Goddamn it!!" { He charges the bubble several times but I won't budge} "How the hell am I supposed to break out of this?" {suddenly as if by an answer to his prayers Shelly kicks down his door.}

Shelly: "Wheeze wheeze your dead Ssstan!"

Stan: {Suddenly gets an idea} "Na na na na Hey Shelly come get me oh wait you can't" {moons her and does his impression of her with his butt.} "I'm Shelly I'm so butt ugly that no boy in school will go out me Sssttupid turd!!!"

{Shelly turns red and blows steam out her ears and nostrils}

Shelly: "YOU DIE TURD!!!!!" {she rips the steel shutter off Stan's window and smashes the bubble with it}

Stan: AHHH!!!!! { He breaks into a run grabbing his clothes and shoes and dodging Shelly while directional arrows appear on screen like in Dragon's Lair and jumps out the window landing in the snow before running on to Kyle's house. leaving Shelly to shake her fist in rage and then shed a tear?}

Shelly: {Sniff sniff} "I'm not butt ugly." {she breaks down crying.}

Grandpa: {falls down again off screen} "Goddamn son of a whore!"

{Stan takes out his cell phone and call's Kyle.}

Kyle: {picks up his phone.} "Hey dude what's up?"

Stan: "Dude we have to find Conner before the national guard does."

Kyle: "Are you serious? do you know how late it is?"

Stan: "Kyle are with me or not?"

Kyle: "Of Course I am Stan but we have one small problem."

Stan: "What's that?"

Kyle: "My Parents." {Zooms out to reveal Kyle's bed is protected by laser beams, sentry turrets and a squadron of Quadrotors.}

{Stan reaches the front of Kyle's house only to find it guarded by a watch tower barbed wire, machine gun nests and and search lights}

Stan: "Man and I thought my parents were over reacting." {The theme from Rambo First Blood Part 2 plays as Stan slips past the searchlights crawls under the barbed wire and evades Ike who's in an cute little Canadian army helmet and carrying a hockey stick. He takes out some Reese's pieces and throws it into the bushes to distract Ike then runs over and flips the power switch shutting off the security systems.}

Kyle: {Climbs out of the window fully dressed} "Thanks Stan."

Stan: "Don't mention it dude."

{They head for Kenny's house.}

Stuart: "There you go son" {hands Kenny a shotgun with a missing trigger}

Kenny: ("Where's the trigger?")

Stuart: "Oh Your brother lost it somewhere. I don't know."

Carol: "Well good night Kenny sleep tight."

Stuart: "Don't let the rats bite." {Turns the light off and shuts the door}

Kenny: ("I got a feeling I'm gonna die tonight.") {There's a tapping at his window} ("Huh?") {He goes over to see Stan and Kyle at his window.} ("Hey guys")

Stan: "Kenny get up we're going to look for Conner!"

Kenny: ( "What are you crazy we could get killed!")

Kyle: "Kenny we can't let the National Guard catch him first."

Kenny: ("Why not It's their job not ours.")

Stan: "Just cause dude."

Kyle: "Yeah."

Kenny: ("Fine let me just do one thing.") {He goes over to his bedroom drawer and pulls out a familiar costume.

{Karen is sleeping in her room quietly when a hooded figure lands in her window and walks up to her.

?: "Sleep soundly Karen I promise I'll be back soon."

Karen: {Talks in her sleep} "Angel you'll always watch out for me?"

?: "Always Karen" {He kisses her on the cheek} and covers her up with the blanket} "Sleep tight and remember I'm always looking out you." {and like that he vanishes.}

{ ? walks up to Stan and Kyle Causally.}

Stan: "Dude your still playing that?"

?: "Let's go"{He spins up the shotgun Evil Dead style}

{They head for Cartman's house}

Cartman: "Mahm why do we have to have this thing in the house?"

FunnyBot: "Perimeter secure all quiet on the western bedroom front. Thank you for the new Gig Mrs Cartman."

Liane: "Your welcome FunnyBot." "Now Eric Funnybot is here to make sure your safe in your room tonight. "{Funny Bot draws out his miniguns and and starts surveying the room.

Funnybot: "Scanning for signs of target Conner Kurtz...Also scanning for close up shots of of Sarah Jessica Parker's {voice changes} Horse Vagina........Awkward!!"

Liane: "Good night Poopsiekins." {She turns the lights off and shuts the door}

Funnybot: "Good night Eric."

Cartman: "assh*le."

{His cell phone rings, he picks it up}

Cartman: "Hello."

Stan: "Cartman get your ass out here we're going to look for Conner."

Cartman: "I would if I could but my mahm's got Tom Servo over here watching me."

Stan: "Well find a way to to get rid of him."

Cartman: {Thinks up a plan} "FunnyBot I would like a glass of warm milk."

Funnybot: "My polygraph sensors indicate this is a ruse to get rid of me."

Cartman: "But FunnyBot my Mom always gives me a glass of warm milk to help me go to sleep."

Funnybot: "Who do you take me for {Voice changes} Amanda Bynes Vagina Monster?"

Cartman: {Starts screeching} "BUUTTTTTTTT FUUUUUNNNNNYYYYBOOOOOOOTTTTTTT I NEED A GLASS OF MILK TO GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!" {Starts screeching super high}

FunnyBot: "Alright already" {throws his arms up} "I'll get you a glass of milk" "f*cking fat piece of sh*t" { drives himself to the kitchen muttering under his breath} "Glass of milk I'll get him a f*cking glass of milk I'll shove it up his f*cking assh*le, f*cking Fat ass all I ever do is solve his f*cking problems all day stupid f*cker I f*cking hate him."

{While Funnybot is fuming about his hatred for Cartman he fails to notice said fatass creeping up behind him until....Cartman pushes him down the stairs} "AHHHHHH!!!!!{ He destroys most of the stairway on the way down.}

{Meanwhile Cartman climbs out the window and manages to land on ? killing him instantly}

Stan: "Oh My God Cartman killed Kenny!"

Kyle: "You Bastard!"

{But the boys soon forget this and head to Kenny's house and knock on his window.}

Stan: "Kenny?" {Kenny climbs out of his bed and rubs his eyes}

Kyle: "Why did you go back home?"

Cartman: "Yeah butt licker we gotta go."

Kenny: ("But I and you and Cartman fell on me...)

{Kenny's sighs and head over to his dresser drawer.}

{Meanwhile at the Cartman residence....}}

Liane: {Comes down armed with a leadhead dildo to investigate the crash} "Oh my Funnybot what happened!"

Funnybot: {Groans} "Humans build robot robot tries to kill humans human teach robot meaning of comedy robot looks for new gig robot takes home security job humans knock robot down stairs AKWARD!!!!!!!"

{Cut to Commercial break.}
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