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First Blood First Serve Epilogue Sequel Spoiler PostThu Feb 06, 2014 10:45 am Offline
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Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:33 pm30
{The credits finish as we cut to a shot of a car pulling into Alamosa Maximum Security Juvenile Hall.}


{Gunnery Sergeant Halfcock parks in the visitors lot and steps out followed by the four boys and Mrs Garthunk for the South Park Milk Company.}

Cartman: {Looks up at the sign that says Gruffy sez "Try to escape and we'll shoot you on sight."} "Here we are the big house never thought I'd be back here."

Stan: "Why do you look so nervous Fatass?"

Cartman: "I'm not nervous it just brings back a lot of bad memories and I'm not fat I'm big boned."

Stan: "You'll be fine as long as nobody recognizes your ass."

{The boys along with Sgt Halfcock and Mrs Garthunk all laugh.}

Cartman: "Stan I swear to god if you make one more crack about my ass again I'm gonna hit you with this rock."

Stan: "Try it and I'll kick your ass Tanker tits"

Cartman: {Takes off his coat} "Alright you asked for it assh*le I'm gonna stomp a mudhole in your ass." {Puts his dukes up.}

{Stan punches him in the jaw.}

Cartman: {Starts crying} WAHHHHHHHHHH MEEEEHMMM MEEEEEHHHMMM!!!!!

Halfcock: "How the hell did this kid survive Juvey?"

{They just go on in followed by Cartman who's still sobbing.}

{At the visitation room several kids are talking to their parents}

Mom: "Are you brushing your teeth every night?"

Boy: "Yes Mommy."

Mom: "And are you remembering to not drop the soap?"

Boy: "Yes Mommy?"

{The Corrections officer brings out Conner who's now sporting prison tattoos on his arms.}

Corrections officer: You got ten minutes Kurtz."

{Conner sits down}

Halfcock: "Hey Conner."

Conner: {softly smiles} "Hey Sir." {He salutes him.}

Halfcock: {Returns the salute} "How are you?"

Conner: "Good I guess."

Halfcock: "Conner I just want you to know I did everything I could to keep you out of here."

Conner: "It's not so bad the foods alright."

Kyle: "Hey Conner My Dad said that the court's considered your case and they said that the use of of Barbra Streisand as a tactic constitutes cruel and unusual punishment."

Stan: "We even petitioned the governor to pardon you."

Conner: "How'd that go?"

Stan: "Not very good."

{Flashes back to the Governors office where the boys dressed as a mariachi band try to melt Governor Hickenlooper's icy heart with a hot salsa number...wait or was it cool his hot heart with a cool salsa number anyway the boys get tossed out.}

Stan: "But we did someone who would listen."

Mrs Garthunk: "Hello Conner I'm Mrs Garthunk from the South Park Milk Company makers of the freshest milk in Colorado?"

Conner: "What does that have to do with me?"

Halfcock: "We're prepping a recon mission to search for missing children in Peru.We ran an analysis of operatives capable of completing the mission. Your name was on the top of the list."

Conner: I still don't understand sir?"

Halfcock: "Mrs Garthunk if you would explain?"

Mrs Garthunk: "Thank you Sergeant Halfcoke. {He facepalms.} Conner we at the South Park Milk company are dedicated to helping find missing children across the country as well as providing the freshest milk in Colorado. During one of our routine sweeps of the San Diego area we picked some heavy radio traffic concerning a shipment of children matching many in our databases We tracked it on our satellite network to a previously uncharted valley deep in the Andes Mountains of Peru."

Conner: "That's where I come in right?"

Halfcock: "Exactly If your in we leave right now. We'd be in and out in 72 hours and if you succeed there may be a presidential pardon in it for you."

{Conner looks undecided.}

Halfcock: "You can't possibly want to stay here for another five years,"


Conner: "Sir do we get to win this time?"

{Cuts to the credits again}

South Park Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Conner Kurtz Sergeant Peter Halfcock Created by RockHead South Park.

Screenplay by RockHead South Park.

{Cuts back to the waiting room everyone except Cartman is leaving.}

Stan: "Come on Cartman."

Cartman: "Go on I'll catch up to you. {He grabs his stomach in pain.}

{Cartman walks up to Romper Stomper's cell.}

Cartman: "Hey Romper Stomper!"

Romper Stomper: "Cartman! Did you bring it?"

Cartman: "I sure did." {He sits on the toilet and begins pooping out Casa Bonita.}

{Cartman grunting and pooping} Ahh {Hold up a platter of Mexican food} I'm Starving Let's Eat."

{Cartman and Romper Stomper begin eating tacos and enchilada's as we cut to the end of the credits for real this time and not a moment too soon.}

{A RockHead South Park Screenplay.}
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