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Gary Martinez, Production Assistant:
If you make a right at the gum drop forest, cross the peppermint river, and make a wish at the pork soda fountain, you'll come to three beautiful sirens that look strangely like PA Mike, PA Nate, and PA Rob. You'll have to share nectar and ambrosia with them before they let you in the gates, but once they do, you'll finally get to experience the magical world that is South Park. 

This is my first run at South Park and let me tell you, I am now privy to information that would make your precious little heads spin.  There have been rumors that once you start here, they give you a character on the show. I can't say whether this is true or not, but if you do see a Mexican/Filipino version of Brad Pitt a la Fight Club on a future episode, it may or may not be me. 

What I can say about 'the Park' is that it appears to be a well-oiled machine. And by well-oiled, I mean well fed. It appears well-oiled too if you really want to know. But do you really want to know that Matt and Trey call everyone in the office in for a group hug at noon everyday? I’m sure you’d rather read about what goes in to our oversized bellies. Yeah, the other PA's have probably written about it, but what other PA has provided pictures in the stellar beauty of 1.3 megapixels? Welcome to the future…

http://images.southparkstudios.com/img/content/blog/53a.jpg

This being said, a goal of mine (aside from being the best PA the earth has ever seen) is to somehow maintain my current body weight. I'm at 178 lbs according to our scale here and though I've always been relatively thin, my metabolism is starting to slow in my old age. Couple that with the temptation of peanut butter cups and red vines, PA Gary could be PA Tubby come 8 weeks from now. Is it bad that I'm sweating as I type? Does Apple make chocolate proof keyboards? Is it still cannibalism if I eat my own hand?

I’m sure I’ll have much more to report as the weeks go on, but as I said I’m new here and have a lot to learn. I am impressed by the camaraderie that I have witnessed as we approach the first Tuesday all-nighter. Much of the staff decided to wear their pajamas today to celebrate the mix of comfort with good old-fashioned hard work.

Us PA’s, we decided to dress a little differently (mainly because California law prohibits our skivvies from being displayed in public). See below.

http://images.southparkstudios.com/img/content/blog/53b.jpg

PA Gary, PA Nate.

Not shown: PAs Mike and Rob. They got tired and took a nap under a gummi tree.

I tell ya, if I knew which fields to take to get a job like this (especially for M&T) and be in college the next semester. Looks like fun, and something i'd enjoy, all nighter or not.

In order to be a South Park PA they measure your levels of awe and wonder at all things South Park and MnT and only those with the highest awe/wonder scores get in.

After that it's about all about the job - blow and/or hand and, of course, suction.

(writes down). Great, let me go see if any colleges or tech schools near by can get me a degree in these....hey wait.

Hugging Matt and Trey at noon everyday...that doesn't sound so bad...!

Hey, what exactly is PA's job? Just wondering. Can't wait for tonight's episode, excited as hell.

I want those t-shirts.
Good job you're doing there guys

Hugging Matt and Trey at noon? I want in on these hugs! Can't wait for the new episode tonight, I know it's going to be kick ass.

Omigod, just shove it in our faces, dude. I'd be bragging about it too. I hope one day I can get in on these group hugs. My dream job would be to be a writer there. I'm seriously.

Group hugs are ok, but I'd prefer a seedy hug from the office hottie.

A PA's (Production Assistant's) job is mostly doing all the sh*tty, boring, time-consuming but often very necessary work no-one else wants to do or has the time to do.

Key PA qualifications/skills include: speaking, writing and understanding English fluently, a full driving licence, a non-questioning 'can do' attitude, the flexibility that equates to that of an Olympic gymnast but in how much sh*t you're capable of taking, smiling though your heart is breaking, excellent acquired ‘on the job’ electrical/mechanical repair skills for photocopiers, printers, coffee machines, computer monitors and other assorted office equipment and possessing the memory of both an elephant and a mathematical genius.

You spend hours in traffic, in queues, on the phone to get someone to do a huge favour, like to make 50 tacos ASAP or keep a place open a little longer cos you really are on your way, or to bend the rules a little ('these people are famous!') or organise something that is the whim, desire, need or that day’s/week’s obsession of your boss/es.

You work long, long hours and in-between the flurry of activity, in-between being stuck in traffic for hours, being on hold for ages while the music of Celine Dion or Bach drives you crazy, in-between leaving endless messages for someone who is never going to call you back there is almost nothing to do but wait and wait because you HAVE to be there, at the ready, for the next need, want, whim, desire, etc.

What you hope will happen is that you make a contact, a connection, get to know someone useful and powerful who will read that genius script you have or the first three episodes of that original and brilliant sitcom you co-wrote with your best buddy or read through the graphic novel treatment you have, with full character drawings and descriptions (that would definitely make a great movie too!) or will actually sit down and watch the whole of your carefully edited show reel, etc.

In order to keep yourself from getting low, suicidal, ‘don’t stop believing’ in yourself and your Hollywood ‘I will be famous and rich and successful in the industry and show ‘em all!’ dream’ or letting the extreme exhaustion mess with your mind you have to find any moment that will lift your day or if there aren’t any, hell, you’re creative, why not make them up!

There are no group hugs in South Park and if there are they will post a pic of the entire crew with MnT all a-hugging with the whole SP like crazy - then we’d all know for sure. Y'know like that cute lil story of Mr Stone rescuing everyone from the highway accident and super traffic jam in his helicopter? Somehow that managed to be ‘missed’ by the many TV news crews who covered the incident live.

We know Mr Stone is super rich, has a huge amount spare time and the ego etc, to get a helicopter licence but the story of the rescue...hmmm. Any proof dudes? And getting the permission to fly near a highway outside of the prescribed helicopter routes over most cities is kinda difficult except for emergency services.

But, hey, I'm a semi-suicidal, clinically depressed loser so what would
I know....??!?? hahahaha!

So, OK - all together now, in group hug mode (singing) -
"Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on"

If you know that much, what's the field for animating? Computer Arts, yes, but i'd like to avoid the VG design field, and get into the TV bracket. I know generally it'd be smart to get 4 years of writing class so I can double as a writer for the said team/company that would hire me.

I'm seriously like "wha?" everytime I do a search for this I wind up either confused or I end up banging my head across my desk, then I dream a south park episode while brain cells die...then I forget the episode idea to write down.

Sorry dude, I really can't help. I wasn't being completely serious above and I'm not based in the US.

if it means anything, you were convincing