Forum

Dull chainsaw. It's still gonna be all like RRRRINGINGNGIGNGNGNGINGGRNRNRNRNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Petting a kitten on the head on a warm Sunday afternoon

or

HAVING A SPIKE BAT RAMMED UP YOUR ASS WHILE A HOMELESS MAN SHOVES HIS ABNORMALLY LONG TONGUE ALL THE WAY DOWN YOUR THROAT AS ELEPHANT sh*t RAINS ON YOUR CUT UP AND GASHED BODY.

Geez, what a dilemma. I guess I'll go with petting the kitten.


Being buried in sand up to your head next to an anthill with mayonnaise smeared all over your face
for three hours

or

Being restricted to listening to only twenty random songs for the rest of your life. (you don't know what the songs will be, and once they're set, that's all you'll ever get to listen to.)

Whatever the result of the first option is, it has got to be less painful than the second.

Killed by an elephant or a hippopotamus?

Hippo. That would be less embarrassing, they're f*cking scary.

Eddie Murphy staring at you while having sex, or Jim Carey staring at you while having sex?

What?! You expect me to let one of those two clowns slack off and stare at me while having sex with each other? No way, dude. Not on my watch!

Cut or uncut?

Un....cut...?

Never being able to get the pet you want, but you do anyway.

OR

Being depressed with a loving companion that makes things a little better...

never getting the pet


You never want depression



singing or dancing

Singing. I can't dance for sh*t.

Law and Order: SVU.

OR

Any other Law and Order.

any law and order


pistol or shotgun

Pistol.

REAL Halloween HORRORS?

OR

Listening to a REALLY disturbing song?

Halloween


chocolate or candy

Chocolate. OR CHOCOLATE CANDY! OOOOOOOOH!

Bagels?

OR

Bread?

Bread. I've never had a bagel that wasn't rubbery.

Traditional holiday fare
or
Non-traditional holiday fare? (like mexican or italian food instead of turkey, dressing and potatoes, etc.)

Non-traditional! Let's try something new! ^.^

Cuban people?

OR

Portuguese people?

Portuguese

pudding or tart