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Nathan Chaffetz, Production Assistant:

Dearest South Park fans,

This is my first Tuesday night at South Park. I’ll be staying up all night helping our crew work on Episode 1302, “The Coon.” I could not be more excited. It was not long ago that I would pull all-nighters studying for microeconomics exams. Now I’m getting paid overtime to stay up all night and work on an episode of South Park. Who’s laughing now, Professor Herrera?

However, when I explain my job to outsiders (mainly my buddies who make 70 K + a year working for failing investment banks) they laugh at me. They call me a “coffee bitch.” The truth is, they are correct. I am a coffee bitch; but at least I work for a viable TV show. Thanks to the insolvency of the very companies that pay inexperienced frat bros 70 K + a year to play with Excel all day long, our economy is ruined. People are depressed. They need a distraction from their miserable lives. They need South Park.

The coffee I brew every morning, as seemingly trivial as it might be to outsiders, does help bring South Park to the public. Furthermore, bleak economic forecasting suggests a continuing demand for South Park. Therefore, unless I mess up the coffee (or the toner…again,) I have some degree of job security. Whereas my banker buddies are likely to be unemployed shortly when their crappy employers downsize again.

If you think I’m just trying to talk myself up, then I say, “Screw you guys, I’m going home….when the supervising producer lets me sometime tomorrow morning.”

…I have a long ladder to climb, but at least my first rung is at South Park, not “Citi”Bank (Think: Mr. Liu Kim)

I would love to be a coffee bitch at SPS!

^I'm sure anybody here would like to work at SPS. But that is not likely at all unfortunately... I wouldn't mind working on the computer end of things there .

Getting paid to work on south park and get paid overtime, best job in the world!

Me too! Me too! Instead I'm a coffee bitch on its message board!

Uh-oh. Did some one get an extremely extra dark no-caf, and strangely brown xeroxes, one morning?

I'm surprised working at South Park isn't listed as one of, if not, the best job in America. They'll have Virtual Reality simulators in the 2060's so people like me will experience the strung-out, coffee-ridden magic.

"Casa Boneeta! Casa Boneeta! They don't have them in Canada! Casa Boneeta! Casa Boneeta!"

It's that bad? Huh....

I wouldn't mind being a coffee bitch anywhere, umm... Please pray for me. Pray for me real hard.

If I worked on the production team, I'd say welcome to the production team.

Ah, screw it. Welcome to the production team.

I would scrub toilets if I could be around the geniuses that make South Park!

You're so lucky

Good luck climbing the ladder. Though working with SP-creators is already pretty high up that thing in my opinion

Good Luck man,

Looks like the gig is pretty sweet!!

Lookin forward to the new episodes

you, my friend, do not sound right for South Park. Not even as a coffee bitch. I don't like you.

I think that's a great idea, to make a SouthPark special about the Economic crisis...starting Bernanke "the jew this town need..."